The 5-Year Plan is out of date.

 

Do you remember what you were doing exactly 5 years ago? Maybe on this day in 2013 you were sitting down and dreaming of your future. Whether you were fresh out of grad school or decades deep in a career, chances are, you’ve changed since then. Even the fact that you’ve landed on this very page suggests you may be disillusioned with your career trajectory. But here’s the good news…it’s okay (healthy, even) to change your mind and pursue a new route. In fact, you may be at precisely the point in your career where you need to rip up your 5-year plan.

The culture of work has changed. Until recently, people entered their careers with blinders on, speeding down a one-way highway, headed for a consistent, linear work life. But in the last few years, it’s like we realized for the first time that there are on and off ramps, u-turns, dead ends, and roadside assistance. We’re not stuck. And it’s okay to feel lost.

 

You’re not lost.

 

Although it may not seem like it, feeling “lost” is a good thing. When we’re willing to acknowledge we don’t know where we’re headed or maybe even where we want to go, we’ve taken the first step to finding a fulfilling and energizing career.   Maxie McCoy, author of You’re Not Lost: An Inspired Action Plan for Finding Your Own Way, travels around the country chatting with people who feel lost. She meets with 22 year olds wondering what the roadmap to success is and 50 year olds looking to launch businesses post-divorce.   In every conversation, Maxie provides a way out of the darkness. Her secret:

At our core, none of us are actually lost. We just aren’t taking the tiny steps to get us to the place we want to go.

 

According to Maxie, the big leap is BS. The solution to a frustrating job may not be jumping ship only to land in another industry that dissatisfies. The safer route to career delight is determining what you know gives you life right now. [We talk about this in detail in our Designing Career Experiments and Taking Career Risks podcast episode.]

One Tiny Step for Man (or Woman!)

 

Stop and think about what energizes you. Do you love to speak? Write poetry? Decorate homes? Brew coffee? Style clothes? Make charts? Lead teams? If you know what energizes you, your first step to a better career is answering one question:

“What is the absolute smallest thing you can do RIGHT NOW to tap into this energy?”

 

Don’t overthink it. Don’t figure out how to monetize what you love right now. Don’t rip up your old 5-year plan only to write up a brand-new one. Just simply ask yourself how you can lean into what energizes you.

Here are a few ideas on how to act on your newfound energy.

 

  What Energizes You      One Tiny Step
  Writing      Sign up for a creative writing class.
  Speaking      Develop an outline on a topic you love and test it on a friend.
  Organizing Chaos      Organize a junk closet for a friend.
  Decorating Homes      Rearrange a room for a family member.
  Baking      Try out a new recipe.
  Helping Others      Join a local community service team.
  Building      Plan a weekend woodworking project.
  Making Coffee      Host a coffee cupping in your home.
  Knowing Fashion Trends      Record a video on 7 different ways to style an item of clothing.
  Making Charts      Read a book on modern data visualization.
  Leading Teams      Sign up to coach a community sports team.
  Career Coaching      Grab coffee with a friend to ask how their job is going.

 

As you do this one tiny thing, ask yourself if you are still energized by it. Yes? Then go on to find another tiny step.

 

Confused about what energizes you? So was Laura.

 

Laura felt stuck. She’d worked the same job for 8.5 years. When she first started her career, she felt enthusiastic about her work, but Laura had lost her excitement long ago.

Unsure where to turn, she enlisted the help of a career coach. As the coach asked the natural question, “What do you want to do?” all Laura could think was, “That’s the problem—I don’t know!”

Instead of wallowing in confusion, Laura set up informational interviews with people inside and outside of her company. She listened to our podcast and completed self-assessments designed to help reveal her innate passions.

As Laura completed the behavioral assessments, she realized she loved them. She’d explain the questions, answer choices, and conclusions to her husband after completing each one. Before long, Laura heard herself saying to her husband, “I wish I could do this for my job.”

When clarity over what she loved struck Laura, she found a way to get unstuck in her career. She began taking steps to find a career that involved behavioral assessments, and within seven months of beginning her search, she found a company with the exact role she wanted but previously didn’t know existed.

People come to us all the time without any idea of what they want to do. If you can relate, take this free 8-day course to get headed the right direction.

Whether you know where you’re going or you can’t even find the keys, we’re rooting for you. Little by little, you’ll find your way there. And we’ll be here to help when you hit a roadblock.

 

To hear more on Maxie’s disastrous big leap and the tiny steps that led to her career happiness, listen to the podcast below.

Transcript from Episode

Scott:  Here’s the thing. We going to our jobs or different scenario of our life. Thinking we know what we want and you know what? Sometimes we do and we going to that and maybe we get a new job and maybe it’s great for a little while but then something happens. Something happens that causes us to realize that, what we thought wanted before, isn’t what we want now. Maybe let’s say your company got purchase and you’ve got a merger and now, guess what? It is a different scenario, different plain feel or maybe it’s on the other side where you had a child or realize that what you wanted when you came out to college, is no longer what you want anymore and you needs of changed and you know what, there’s nothing wrong with that but then, if we don’t know exactly what we’re doing and we don’t have a five year old plan all figured it out. Why isn’t that many of us feel lost or stuck at that point. That’s what we want talk to you Maxie McCoy. Friend of podcast, one of my personal friend, she’s been on before you’ve heard her, way back in episode 199. In go back and listened to her entire story there. However, she’s on the day to talked about, what happens when do feel that way? What happens when you feel lost? And what do you do about it?.

 

Maxie: I think it’s really important to understand where that feeling comes from and I’ll tell you a little bit about why I started to write about this feeling, just in general was you know, I was on the road talking to women for a vast majority of my career, which is such a gift and the thing that I heard over and over Scott was so interesting is cut across demographics, it didn’t matter if it was fifty year old woman making the change from having her children to starting her first company post-divorce or if it was a young 22 year, old woman who now didn’t have the exact path in front of her I was hearing it. In every city in every country, just this I feel so lost, and it just started to click with me, because I had felt that way you know. If you go back, and you listen to that origin episode between me and you so much of about that was this feeling of being lost at different points in my career, so I mean I felt it. I don’t know if there’s anyone who hasn’t felt it at some point in their career I think it really stems from a couple things right so there’s the lost that comes from not understanding what your big picture is. We obsessed over this big goal and we want to have it all figured out, and we expect that of ourselves, then there’s the loss that comes from okay, I kind of have sense of direction, but I have no idea what happens between here and there.

Scott:  Yeah.

 

Maxie: Right and so these different pathways of getting to that, but what I really believe is that at our core, none of us are actually lost. We just start believing in ourselves enough to take the tiny steps that will open that path up.

Scott: So, let me ask you a little bit about that.

 

Maxie: Yeah.

 

Scott: Last time we got to have a really cool conversation about confidence, and

Maxie:  Yes.

 

Scott: We spent most of our time. Last time we brought you on the show talking about what that is and to some degree, confidence is believing in yourself right? I mean you can go deep into detail on the definition of it and how to get confidence and else everything like that, but really I’m curious. What you mean when you say believing in yourself enough? What does that look like? What is that smell?.

 

Maxie: I know it is confidence right? but we don’t go I’m not confident like when I look back on all the times that I felt lost I in the moment was I’ve. Never like oh I, just don’t feel confident, but when you return really what that means, believing in yourself, is returning to a really deep top ten power I’ll, give you the actual definition of confidence. Just so. We know what I’m talking about and I use, confidence and self-belief interchangeably and its how much you believe that your abilities and whatever it is that you try your hand at will have a positive outcome. So, when you take it back to you know, how can I take. Small step after small step to really end up finding my way, it’s believing that those small steps are going to have a positive outcome so. When you say what does it feel like? What does it smell like? you’re actually like leading me to one of the things that I think about a lot when I have my own experiences of not believing in myself I mean you and I were just talking about how you know kind of going into this place of expansion and doing some other things that I’m doing right now, man I get hit by the wave of like oh I’m, not sure, if I can do this, I’m not sure, if I believe in my abilities, all the time, and it really is coming back to your power, knowing that the things that you’re doing we’ll have that positive outcome and I, think that there’s a lot of reasons that we don’t believe in ourselves and I think that’s a really important place to start, which is you look at cultural constructions? You look at all the molds that exist that people are expecting us to fit into. You look at the patriarchy. You look at social media and all these highlight reels. I mean there’s so much going on right now that kind of little by little tears at our ability to feel really tapped into ourselves and what it is about is it is coming back to highest expression of who you are I tell people all the time. Look at all the things someone has ever told you to change. And you actually have your formula for really tapping into your own power and the highest expression of yourself in reverse, because what you should do is go magnify all of that. If you like writing really weird poems go do that, even if people that they’re weird people have been telling you to look a certain way or talk quieter? It’s like Scott I, don’t know about you, but my whole life, people told me that I talk too much and now I make a lot of money. Talking too much.

 

Scott: Yeah.

 

Maxie:  You know what it means?.

 

Scott: Yeah.

 

Maxie: We really do have these formulas for how to be the highest expression of ourselves via all the things people have told us to change.

 

Scott: I love that. When you first said I that didn’t quite follow what you were talking about, but I think that is possibly one of the most useful indicators and it’s totally counterintuitive from the way that most of us are looking at it, because most of us are looking at that and we hear somebody say “yeah you’re too loud or you talk too much” or whatever it might be, and we think that well, we need to do something about that. However, the something that we need to do, I think is usually more along the lines of, how do I talk quieter or whatever it might be.

 

Maxie: It’s like how do I start a podcast, but that.

 

Scott: Yeah, and it needs to be in reverse from what they’re.

 

Maxie: What they’re saying?.

 

Scott:  Yeah. That’s actually I love that. Every time I talk to you. I come away with so many good. I don’t know analogies and quips and quotes.

 

Maxie: I like it.

 

Scott: You’re so tweetable.

 

Maxie: I think it’s all the sports broadcasting media training on me.

 

Scott: So, I think that’s a really very relevant way to look at it, in terms of looking at all the things that people have told you and essentially in a lot of cases, doing the opposite. If it’s not something that’s encouraging, probably doing the opposite. So, where else do we look for that source of confident?.

Maxie: I think, one of the places like when you’re thinking about the highest expression of yourself, and you really are trying to tap into those. You know just those like that superpower. That feeling that I just really can whatever it is that I want to do I can go forward. I mean, oh, my gosh, your people, so I know that we have everybody talks about you know. Your crew, your tribe, all of the things, we also say that all of this is an inside job. Right? You know you should feel good from the inside out. I don’t know about you, but some of the times that I have been the most spurred to action, and I think this really kind of answers a little bit about what you’re asking. So there is, if you can stick with me on a visual. Action is what is going to fuel our confidence, not the other way around right.

 

Scott:  Yes.

 

Maxie: We think that.

 

Scott:  Yes.

 

Maxie: “Oh I want to be confident” and then I’ll take this action. It’s actually completely again with the reverse. Like it’s, the reverse, it’s similar to like if you’re looking for motivation. We’ll just do the thing that you’re looking for motivation for and then the motivation will come. Confidence is very similar, so the quicker than you can take a really small stuff, which is core to feeling unlost. Right? is what that is small thing that I can right do now, instead of waiting to figure out the big picture, waiting to figure out the path and then confidence will come and what’s really cool about that, is that confidence is going to spur a bigger step and then more confidence, and then a bigger step and then more confidence and then before you know it. You are actually creating all of the things that you were at one point to lose, to scare, to not believing in yourself to do, and it really does come from those micro actions. Now, when I think about the micro actions in this is kind of where I started this answer and then I’m circling back. When you think about those micro actions, and you think about confidence needed to do that. You know we do always say like, oh whatever an inside job like any of these feelings Oh that’s an inside job. Well actually, contrary to most of what people say, we do need external validation in order to do some of this, you just need the right external validation, the proper external validation and I’ll define what that means people who are your biggest cheerleaders, really listening to them. In my own career and in my own story, you know there was a when time was I on the cusp of doing of doing a lot of this. You know launching my own business and really you know kind of putting myself out there and starting on this journey that I knew was true for me. It had been seat inside me for quite some time, but I was scared. I didn’t believe in my ability to do it, and I actually survey twenty of my biggest fan and when I say big fans, I mean dad, my best friend’s.

Scott:  Yeah.

 

Maxie: Some mentors and sages and ask them. You know a series of questions, and in that start it still makes me cry to look at the state because they literally predicted my life right now and it’s the coolest thing, because it gave me all of the energy in the world. I was like gosh if they see this, then how can I step up to that level of belief in myself to match it, and it was just that little kick in the B*** like  okay they believe it I can believe it now too. Then it’s just doing something in possibly smaller one of my favorite question to ask any time I’m tapping into the energy but I’m not really sure where it’s all going and I’m, not really sure what I want is figuring out, I just asked myself this all the time I probably ask myself at yesterday? What is the absolute smallest thing that I can right do now to do something about this energy, this good energy and all kinds, things of come up like a writing class or making up phone call or reaching out to somebody on twitter and it’s all of our careers, the ones that we look up to, the ones that we idealize on Instagram these people, all first all of its not the whole story. But second of all, it was just a product of small step after small step that built some real momentum and also people that just kept going like Scott. What number episode are you on right now? what episode numbers us?.

Scott:  This is what number I’m putting on. This looks like we record them in advance. So yeah, you were like well over 200 right? 247. This is 247. That is sounds a lot.

Maxie: That’s the point right like you just kept going I’m sure you got this all the time, especially now with podcast blowing up and you’re, like hey I’ve, been doing this way before podcast for trendy, and it’s like you did something. You kept going you’re still going, and now you have one of the top career podcast out there, like that’s, how that stuff gets done, not because you set out to know exactly what this was going to be X amount of years.

Scott:  Let me ask you about that exact thing, first of all, thank you and second of all, thanks for being a part of that too now, two of those 247 episodes. But then you said something that I wanted to ask you about you reference it in the book, but I think it’s so important and I wanted to understand a more bit about your philosophy on this. You had mentioned just a moment ago about I didn’t know where it was going entirely and that’s quite honest and honestly, if he did ask me way back when I will told you something completely different than where I think it’s going now, and it has on a different direction, but also in your book, your reference, this concept of not having to know exactly what the destination is and being able to any talk pretty extensively about this, not having it all figured out and then not always knowing that destination. So, first of all, what do you mean by that, and how that is relevant to this concept of being lost.

Maxie: Yeah, so I think it’s relevant and kind of what was I saying about? We put all of this pressure on ourselves to have the big picture completely figured out. We tell ourselves until I know where I’m going, I’m not going to begin right, so unless I know how this plays out, how this plays out how this gets me X, Y and Z. Exactly the 10 step plan to all the goals right there’s so much pressure on goal setting and knowing your five, 10, 20 or plan, then, if I don’t know that I can’t do anything about it right, I’m not going to do anything right now. What I mean by not knowing your destination is being willing to move the big picture aside being willing to step into a place where you don’t have to know where it all ends in order to begin and that’s way easier said than done right, but it is the difference between destination and direction. And so direction is what where the answer to your question is direction. What direction is about, knowing what energizes you, knowing what deeply lights you up, which I believe. While we may not have the answer to where we want to go, while we may not have the answer to direction right this second if you are feeling impossibly lost, trust me I’ve been there, it’s a gnarly feeling and anyone who tells you it’s all going to be fine or you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be like I’m with you I’m not violent, but would like to punch him in the mouth I don’t want to hear that I don’t want to be here. However when you are able to tap into direction, all that is asking you to do is to look back on your life and reflect right reflect on. Where did I feel the most energized, where did I feel the most proud. What actually puts this fire in my belly and lights me up that believe it or not, is you direction. That is what you should be following. If you can keep following that small step after small step, you’re going to get to a place where you’re, like oh I get where this all is going but you make the path as you walk it right? You don’t have the path set out and in front of you, which is the expectation that we have so it’s learning to move that expectation aside to take small step after small step in to do that, based on what deeply energizes you I’ll give you just an example from my own life, at the time when I felt the most lost I had done an exercise just to kind of look back like where I don’t know what I want anymore. Like none of this is working out, the big picture is not a big picture I want anymore. All these goals now feel empty, so when I look back what do I care about what energizes me when did I feel the most proud. And everything’s got that kept coming back to me was all about women stories, women in their careers writing. It was just these kind of like very clear picture moments and so I did the smallest thing that I could do at the time which is I signed up for a writing class here in San Francisco. I decided to write workshop in that class, a book proposal on women in their careers and I mean without getting into all the details. Seven years later here we are because it launched me onto a pathway in so many serendipitous ways of doing exactly that, and it all came from a decision to reflect back figure out what energizes me figure what out I actually care about and to do something small about that. That writing class I didn’t sign up for that writing class being like oh I’m going to a be speaker one day going to get paid to go to conferences and companies and have this book that I do all this press tours on. No. That was not part of it. I was just trying to do something anything that energized me around the things that I cared about, and that is something that, while you don’t know the big picture, right? Well, you don’t have to know the big picture. You do need to do some reflection on what deeply energizes you because that is your direction.

Scott:  Why do you think that I guess just from your personal experience and what you’ve seen. Why do you think that we all think that we do in fact have to know the big picture? I mean, guess you mentioned the parts where we’ve got people left and right asking you for what’s your five-year plan. You don’t have ten year plan, but aside from that, like, where do you think some of this comes from?.

Maxie:  Yeah I mean I think the pressure in general, right? Is we are all now living in a generation where this kind of middle pocket of transition from all the generations ahead of us it was incredibly linear, people were at the majority right? The majority of people were at companies for our over many years. They had retirements. They had pensions. I don’t even know what pension means anymore right like.

Scott: That thing.

Maxie: No, but that’s what I’m saying like I literally like I know this word, but I don’t actually know what it means, because it hasn’t been relevant to us right? And now we have stepped into this zone and we are this generation of workers and where it’s not just work and the path isn’t linear anymore and because that linear nature has burnt off we’re all trying to transition our mindset from okay, all the generation before us so therefore, culture around us is told us. You know big picture know where you’re going. Know what it is that you want know the bright star and everything is disrupting and changing. We could have one career in one place and five years later, totally flip argue and do something else completely because we can, and so, I think so much of needing to know that big picture is a bit cultural right? Like it is ingrained in generation before us and we’re kind of trying to shimmy out of that mold and then be I mean its comfortable right? Like if I can go around telling people that, like yeah one day, you know I’m having a TV show and I’m doing X, Y and Z that is really comfortable, but to tell someone like I don’t actually know what this all becomes two years from now. I mean that is requiring a deep ability to step into the unknown and the unknown is hard I mean I’m sure you have a million episodes on fear and the unknown and all of the choices that we have to make in order to do that. But the lost is the unknown like you won’t, always be lost, but you will always be figuring out where you’re going, and that is important right? Because all of this is nonlinear, our lives now or nonlinear. So I think it really does the obsession with the big picture comes from. I want something that’s known and certain and I think it’s a lot of cultural history.

Scott: Let me ask you this then, if I’m in the place and many of our listeners are, where I have been on a track where I have sort of accepted, what’s in front of me and I’ve gotten multiple promotions or had other opportunities put in front of me, and then now, I’ve realized that I don’t want to do that anymore but I don’t know what it is that I do want to be doing. Now, that I’ve decided I don’t want what people are just putting in front of me and accepting the next thing and I want to take control, but I don’t know what that is.

Maxie: Yeah. Why do you do?.

Scott: What do you do? Maxie?.

Maxie: First of all, you know. I’m sure there’s a lot of people, listening that feel some version of that I know I felt it Scott. You probably felt it and I think a big part of what happens when you’re feeling that, when you’re in something, but you know you don’t want to be in, but you don’t know where it is you want to be, and yeah I’m so lost because that’s where it comes up. First and foremost, please, whatever you do don’t take a huge leap. I think that the big leap is BS I think we have really glamorized like okay, if I don’t like this I’m going just to quit my job and travel the world and figure it out or start this business and that’s great, if that’s what you’ve been working on, but if you haven’t been working on that, the big leap is total BS. The big leap is actually when you leave that job, and you do go do whatever that is you want to do is, is small step after small stuff that got to an inflection point where you were actually able to do that. So, if you’re sitting in that place, I think one of the things that we have completely forgotten about, because we expect everything we do to make us money. Like this side, hustle galore is the power of small plans, the power of projects, right? To get a sense of what is it that is kind of exciting to me like what is it that you know I want to sort of dabble in? I already reference like looking back and reflecting and I think that’s a really important first piece and then figuring out. What is the absolute smallest thing I could do about this excitement and energy and then figuring out what is a small project or a small plan that I can put into place that I can do to start to test out how I feel in this, right? Because you don’t want to change industries or change careers completely and then feel the exact same thing all over again. I have done that before by the way. I made a really big shift from immediately from sports broadcasting to nonprofit but still related to sports, but thinking that but I was going to get more into like a corporate responsibility like track. To feel lost twice in a row from making a really big switch based in nothing

Scott: Yeah.

Maxie: It’s not a good way. So what you can do is you can figure out? What are these small projects are plans that I can put in place, and let me tell you when you are putting your energy there, it helps you when you’re in a job that you don’t like because you are putting the energy somewhere else to kind of to test and try and validate those feelings, not energy and then put a plan into place for a big quote-unquote, bigger leaper, bigger change.

Scott: Okay so and actually something that might be really both validating and relevant here is for those people that have in past the made those really big leaps in one way or another I’ve dropped everything and gone and travel the world.

Maxie: Congratulations!.

Scott: Yeah, congratulations!.

Maxie: It’s amazing!.

Maxie: And occasionally I get an email from people who said hey this was the best thing I’ve ever done, but for every of one those emails, I probably get between 10 and 20, that say, Hey I did this in the first three months were awesome and then I started to feel the pressure of what I’m going to do now, that I got back in the totally changes things and now I’m back and I still don’t know, I’m not any better idea of where I want to go and what to do and I’m still like that I’m right back where I started.

Maxie: Can I give you a super small anecdote right now, because it’s so universe and funny, my best friend has been did this exactly quit her job is traveling for what has been three plus months, she’s literally in my living room right now, I woke up to her in my living room reading my book, because she was like I thought it was all going to feel different when I came back, and it doesn’t I now need to figure this out and so I’m just laughing, because you gave the exact anecdote is happening with my best friend living my in room right now.

Scott: Oh my, well, it’s good thing you wrote a book that can help her out.

Maxie: Right? That’s what she said she goes. Did you write this for me we’re already such good friends? You didn’t need to do this for me.

Scott: That is hilarious, but it’s true, though, because I really think that, when you do that just to give little a bit further validation here, when you do that it’s sort putting of a Band-Aid fix on it in some ways and I think a lot of times, we believe I’ve done this too, that if we just take this leap, like that is going that the rest is going to just happen, that’s gonna give us the insights or it’s going to allow the clarity like something magical is going to happen, and it will be fun and your sad, probably many things that can happen that’s good from the experience. However,

Maxie: Right.

Scott: We’ve got a lot of research and a lot just practical evidence and everything that you just pointed out to leads us to believe that you can do it a better way in the more efficient way to so unless there’s another reason to take a huge leap and you’ve done some other things you’ve already tested it, because you said hey what’s the absolute smallest thing, I can do what’s a project that I can do to test this out if I’ve done a few of those things, and that indicates to me that I should take this bigger leap, I think you’re in a different situation than just doing it.

Maxie: Yeah and I think is really important for all of us to remember is that you know when you do those small plans and when you do those small projects, you have no idea where it’s all going to lead you. You have no clue who you might meet where it might lead. The position might it put you in and that’s, why you just have to take the step no matter what?  Because trust me the universe and the world has way bigger stuff in store for you, provided you get into action. You can’t just be the kid on the side of the pool thinking about how to jump in you have to actually jump in, but that jump can be small and those small things can have incredible returns. Provided you keep taking small step after small step.

Scott: It doesn’t have to be a cannonball?.

Maxie: No, exactly or swan dive or a belly flop, and it won’t be a belly flop, but I think that’s kind of the big thing that we all worry about when we do like, oh but I don’t know if this idea is a good idea. I don’t know if it’ll pan out, I don’t know if it’ll, X Y and Z, because we expect it to have this amazing result or were scared of failing either way, and neither will be true you’re not probably going to have an amazing. You know, result and like figure your life out in a single step, but you’re also not going to fail you’re, just not going to and I think that failure piece is important to talk about because when we get scared about the steps, we often are scared because you know we’re feeling the pressure of perfection we’re feeling pressure of this being the answer to figuring it all out. For me and I’m sure you’ve done this in your own life. Anytime you get to those inflection points and you’re really having a hard time taking a step forward, I just always go back. You know, I was having to do this week because of some stuff that is, you know, really pushing me to my own expansion edge of like what is the worst case scenario. What is the absolute worst thing that could happen here and if it happens, what is my plan, B and I’m, telling you, if you can look at those answers and still be excited and energized by what it is that you’re thinking about, and you know that you can handle that because fear, as we know, gets brighter and gets more intense in the dark but when you put out your worst-case scenario, bring it to the light and can you handle it like you just can and when you see that, and then you write your own plan B.

Scott: The plan B. I love that for so many reasons I was twirling through all kinds of different things in my head. So let me ask you for a second step back to something else that you mentioned earlier and that piece of external validation, and you mentioned it in the context of “hey, I reached out to 20 of my biggest fans” and they told me all the things that are absolutely awesome and actually I would totally recommend that people do that that’s actually something we that do in some of our coaching programs will have people reach out and be able to solicit questions about what are some of their biggest strengths, and you know we give people a script and everything like that and people take so many learnings it’s so empowering.

Maxie: Oh my God, it is one of the can I just want to stop it no matter what version of it. You do that 360-degree reflection with the people that love and see you I think is, if there’s one thing you take this conversation just go do that, like if you were in any place of feeling lost, just go do that in any kind of format like it’ll, give your insight that I truly believe will be life-changing.

Scott: Absolutely yes we’ve got the data to prove it, but

Maxie: Yeah exactly.

Scott: Yeah. But what about when it gets further along, let’s say that you’ve already done that you’ve already done some of these small projects. What types of validation could I’ll be looking for to know that I am seeing the right road signs that I should continue heading this direction versus turning around?.

Maxie: Oh, that is such a good question that, to be honest, I have never thought about before. I really think, that when we’re talking about the validation, that you should keep going. There is going to be both the internal and the external validation right? Because there’s plenty of times, we are on paths that everyone else is like, “oh that’s amazing” or “oh you’re, so good at this”, but it doesn’t resonate with our soul like that was me in sports broadcasting I was good at being on camera and covering sports, but there was something in me. That was saying this isn’t it. You know those loud whispers of gut instinct. You absolutely have to listen to, but I think when you’re talking about being far enough along on the path that you’ve pretty much found some direction right because you’ve been taking some small steps. You’ve been doing some projects. I think the validation comes in a how you feel and be people’s response to it, that you care about, but I think at that point in the journey. It doesn’t really matter like this point in my journey, there’s plenty of people who still do not understand how or what I do and I don’t care right? Because I am so deeply anchored in the value that I’m able to provide and where my skill set is matching my intention for this world to really deeply help. The global rise of women is my very macro goal and I’ve been able now to figure out how the skills and talents layer onto that. That is taken a lot of work and a lot of years and that’s I still have days feel last right? But I think at the place, the in path that you’re talking about it really is internal validation at that point, because you have been testing, you have been trying. You know how you feel, if you are getting kind of feedback and signals from the world, people are purchasing things from you they’re wanting to hire you. They are connecting and resonating with what it is, that you’re saying those are all little blinking signs to just keep going, but I’ve actually been asked you that Scott I feel like you would have a really good answer to that question.

Scott: You know was I thinking about that and I’m asking it because it’s on mind my it’s something I get out early and usually we have like a formula in a system for nearly everything and realized I that we don’t necessarily have that too. So,

Maxie: Yeah and I’m not sure you can I don’t know.

Scott: I think that your point, though, that I’ve learned and been really horrific at during the early years. It’s taken me a long time to start paying attention to this. Those whispers that you’re about from your gut.

Maxie: Yeah.

Scott: From your heart and being able to actually pay attention to those. I think, for many years, I probably spent about these after I got out of high school and everything like that probably spend good ten years instead of listening to them justifying them away.

Maxie: Yes.

Scott: And instead saying well really this would be better because of blah blah blah, even though I didn’t feel right.

Maxie: I know, oh my God, it’s so true and I think it really does and that’s it like that and its core is it like when you are feeling that got in that whisper. We do all kinds of things we ignore it away. We justify it away. We quiet it. We do all of this stuff and what’s odd is like the whispers will go away and you’ll just feel a whole lot of nothing and the lack enthusiasm, the lack of inspiration, the lack of all of those things is that’s like not life, so the more that you can honor those little whispers, not by thinking that you have to go change your life in an instant you because heard something but just that you can honor it in some tiny way is going to get you on the path to direction.

Scott: I think that’s it, I think that is it. I think it becomes a much like anything else. It becomes something that is practiced I think conventionally, I’ve seen that not all, but many women are better at listening to those feelings than many men I’ve encountered, including myself.

Maxie: Yeah.

Scott: So I think, if.

Maxie: We’re programmed.

Scott: Yeah.

Maxie: Some serious mama instinct.

Scott: Yeah.

Maxie: Which you know, is a version of that instinct, whether you ever become a mom or not.

Scott: Yeah, absolutely but I think it’s still no matter what it becomes. Something that you have to practice much like anything else. It becomes almost a skill for lack a of better phrase in order to really pay attention to that in a way that is giving you those indicators, I think that is it I wish there were an easier way.

Maxie: Well, I think one of my favorite things with that got into your point and becoming a practice is back to the idea of reflecting back before you move forward. Look back on all the times that you’ve ignored a gut instinct, and how did that turn out and all the times you’ve sort of listened to it or maybe you’ve never listened to it before, and how did that turn out and it’ll trust me when you listen, it always turns out really nicely. Eventually, right? And so it just you learn, and you practice how to honor it in some small way.

Scott: I think that we should have got one more question, but I think we should in on that I think that internal validation is what I’m really talking about here. After you’ve done that work after you have validated externally being able to listen in order to keep going is

Maxie: Yeah

Scott: Going to really, then you don’t need road signs at this point I guess now that I’m thinking it out. Here’s my tendency to go back to logic right. So let me ask you this, then, if as you have gone through some will you come for a variety of different times where you have had these feelings of being lost, and what would you say is The one or two biggest things that you have learned from that, that you want to pass on.

Maxie: First no I know I like how you can hear the like big like what are the biggest things. First and foremost being lost it’s not a bad thing. Contrary to anyone feeling the opposite right now, it is a scary feeling. It is uncomfortable feeling, let me tell you. It is informing so much more than you can possibly imagine right now. There are in feeling lost is an answer to where you’ve been it’s an answer to where you never want to go again, and so, if you weren’t here, you wouldn’t be getting to where you’re eventually going to be so. First and foremost just know that sitting in this we’re going bleep to this out, but like sitting in the s*** and really instead of trying to immediately shake off the discomfort immediately and get out of this feeling of being lost. Know that there’s some lessons, there’s a lot of lessons to be learned here in forcing you to go back and figure out. What is it that I’m learning by being here? What is it that I never want to do again? What is it that is energizing and inspiring me forward, and so, if you had never felt lost, you would never be forced to do and to examine so much of this. That’s the first thing that it really is giving us all kinds of lessons and I think the second thing that I’ve learned from feeling lost really is that you are actually never going to have it figured out and the more that you can tap into yourself, tap into all the things that make you amazing and wonderful and tick and the things you’re that good at the more that you can really route into that power. The more that nothing is going to stop you. You’ll be able to figure out any challenge any feeling of being lost because you’re willing to do something in the face of that and that something is the small actions that build your confidence and that’ll take you through your entire life. So the quicker than you can come back to yourself and come back to your own power as the answer to take a small step, the better off you’re going to be forever so it’s a skill set that last is teaching you, but that will spare you forward for the many chapters of our lives.

Scott: That is amazing and I really appreciate you making the time to come on the show again Maxie and

Maxie: I’m so grateful.

Scott: I’m just excited every time we get the check.

Maxie: You too, and thank you for having me.

Scott: Absolutely go check out the book. The book is last, where is it available, tell people where they can actually get their hands on this thing?.

Maxie: You can get you’re not lost and inspired action plan for find in your own way on Amazon go grab it on Amazon you’ll see it there were you type in my name or you type in your last it’ll be right there for you, and it has a lot of action a lot of worksheets, it’s a lot of stories more of my story, so it’s something that you can really like get your hands on and have a lot of fun with.

Scott: Hey by the way, if you’re feeling lost, if you’re feeling like, you want to move down a path way. That makes sense for you, and you want to really begin to do the work to understand what that is. You can actually go over to figure it out .CO that’s figure it out .CO and you can join our a day mini-course so we’ve put together to help you get moving down that path and really identifying what you want to be doing and where you want to be spending your time and your career, so that you no longer feel lost you can get going right now, right this second, it’s one tiny step just like Maxie you talked about to move you down the path to get where you want to go head on over there right now to figure it out .CO or we can actually even text yeah dude just like send us a text and will sign you up pretty much. You can text HAPPEN 244222 it’s that easy we’ll see over there, but we have so much more in store. For you, next week right here on what Happen To Your Career next week, we dig into a way that most people don’t think about when they are really interested in doing their own thing and running their own business is something that I have personal experience with and it’s a lot of times, an overlooked option as a great way to develop a first business.

 

Dru: And so, you know it’s not for everybody, but for those that go on to be the happy and successful business owners and franchise owners that I’ve worked with. The easiest way for me to describe it is they end up crossing this chasm mentally. They just kind have this thought that I’m not happy on what I’m doing and I feel like there could be more opportunity for me. But for whatever reason you know I’m not finding it in the corporate world.

 

Scott: That’s Dru Carpenito and we invited him on specifically to talk about an alternative the most people don’t think of when they’re thinking of doing their own thing and getting into business for themselves and that’s franchises, but not the type of franchises that most people think of with. I don’t know, burgers and fries or things like that no instead, franchises and how they can specifically aligned with a life in crewed that you want to build that’s what we want to talk to Dru about because that’s actually as weird as it sounds, what he does for a living. All right, all that and so much more next week right here on Happen To Your Career, will see you then, until then I’m out Adios.